Friday 26 April 2013

The ABCs of Death

I love horror anthologies, from Dead of Night to Trick 'r Treat to Amicus' entire output along the way!  So much so I've already done over on FilmJuice a couple of looks at them here and here, and this was prompted by the fact that the subgenre seems to be making a bit of a comeback this year.  First was V/H/S (more on that in a second) and then there was what I just got back from, The ABCs of Death.  Read on for what I made of it...

The aim of these new waves of anthology horrors is to basically act as showreels for indie filmmaking talent in a form where they're more likely not just to be distributed but perhaps make a profit as well.  This is actually a good idea, as it does mean a more captive audience than simply by putting the films on YouTube say, as the audience is there for the duration, beginning to end rather than randomly browsing.


The first of these was V/H/S, a collection of found footage style horrors with each one made by different directors and crews.  I didn't like this very much, mainly because almost all the films had some real issues both with arsehole protagonists, and there was a creepy touch of misogyny throughout (although the last story in it was pretty good).  Thankfully, from what has emerged from festivals, the sequel S-V/H/S (what will the later entries be?  Betamax?  Laserdisc?  A prequel called Zoetrope?) has cleared up some of these points, and since one of the directors is Gareth Edwards, who did my third favourite film of last year, The Raid, I'm itching to see what he'd come up with let lose on the horror genre!


The one I saw today, The ABCs of Death, was a production by Drafthouse Films, the label of repertory cinema The Alamo Drafthouse, who also run the excellent website Badass Digest.  The concept is simple; twenty-six directors were given the mission of making a short (less than five minute) film about death based around something starting with a randomly assigned letter of the alphabet for a budget of only $5000 dollars.  The results?  Variable to say the least; here're Twitter sized looks at each one in order... 


A is for Apocalypse: Gets things of to a bold but bleak start, with a simple little tale with effective gore. Hit.
B is for Bigfoot : Ok story, though this one barely fits its title; there's another B that'd work better. Hit.
C is for Cycle: A bit "so-what" with it's big reveal just being a bit of a headscratcher, and there's no shock or suspence value. Miss
D is for Dogfight: Bold, stylish, and daring with a surprising amount of good storytelling in there.  Hit.
E is for Exterminates: Creepy crawly tale that really should be a lot more effective then it is and lacks real tension. Miss.
F is for Fart: First of several overly excessively offensive entries in here that had me going "GROW THE FUCK UP!" Big Miss.
G is for Gravity Far too abstract, there's no real story, meaning or emotion conveyed, a waste of a few minutes and a letter.  Miss.
H is for Hydro-Electric Diffusion: Pity I didn't see with this with any furries, as I imagine they'd have a lot to say about this.  Miss.
I is for Ingrown: By far the grimmest in the entire film, tries to raise awareness of an issue, but is just uncomfortable viewing.  Miss.
J is for Jidai-Genki (Samurai Movie)i: Of all the Japanese entries, this one probably works best as a sort of gonzo comedy sketch.  Hit.
K is for Klutz : Tasteless animated farce that's nowhere near as clever or funny is it likes it think it is.  Miss.
L is for Libido: OH GODS WHY?  MYYYY EEEEYYYYYEEEEESSS!!!  END!!! EEEENNNNNDDDDDD!!!!!!  Miss.
M is for Miscarriage :  I don't think Ti West is really right for short films, he does long tension building well, not short and tasteless.  Miss.
N is for Nuptials: One of the better laughs, as it's basically a very simple joke put on screen well.  Hit.
O is for Orgasmi: By far one of the most beautiful segments in here, and surprisingly with that title one of the better taste ones.  Hit.
P is for Pressure: Slice of life drama that leads to perhaps the most distressing scene in this entire film.  Miss.
Q is for Quack: Metatextual entry about the issue of getting drawn the letter Q for this contest.  Hit.
R is for Removed: I just don't get it, and I doubt you will either.  Miss
S is for Speed: Probably features the worst acting in the entire film, but has some good energy to parts (though the end's really grim).  Just a miss.
(This is sort of the odd one out, as this was the winner of a contest to be voted in the "T" entry for the film) T is for Toilet: Silly, immature, but by far one of the most fun, and oddly enjoyable.  Hit.
U is for Unearthed: By far the best one of the lot from Ben Wheatley, with good style, a bit of a twist and the implication it's part of a much bigger story.  Hit.
V is for Vagitus (The Crying of an Infant): This really needed to be longer and more time given for worldbuilding.  Miss
W is for WTF : WTF is right, I'm still not sure if I liked this one or not; still, what do you expect when you bring in one of the minds behind Metalocalypse?
X is for XXL: Has probably the most impressive effects in the film, and a bit of a message too.  Hit.
Y is for Youngbuck : A silly idea that needed a sillier approach, not the overly dramatic one it's presented with.  Miss.
Z is for Zetsumetsu (Extinction): AAAARRRGGGHHHH!!!!  It's very Japanese, I'll give it that, but you leave Dr. Strangelove alone movie!  Miss.

So, far more misses then hits then, and most of those hits only do so by a pretty narrow margin.  Are the hits worth seeing the whole thing for?  As much as I liked some of them, I'd say just rent the DVD when it comes out and skip ahead to those chapters if you're interested, but the really bad stuff, even the promise of what's to come isn't enough to get you through.  Actually, you can watch one of them entirely legally online right now...


The film has more problems than just being the sum of its parts though.  By sticking all these entries in strict alphabetical order, and the fact that each film-maker did their own thing, the tone, pace and style varies ridiculously from segment to segment.  Some are going for a jokey approach, some more serious, and the way they're smooshed together makes for mood whiplash as they transition.  The best horror anthologies use a more traditional pacing structure and audience interest model to chose how to order their stories, building them up as you go, saving the best 'til last.  Here though, they're just stuck with whatever mood whoever got that letter was in, so to say it makes for a schizophrenic experience at times is something of an understatement.

As much as I do criticise the movie though, I do admire its spirit and what it's trying to do.  It can make for a great chance for some to get their work on the big screen that wouldn't get an opportunity otherwise, and if it opens up to more YouTube talent say, I reckon that the proposed More ABCs of Death could be something to look forward to.  Plus, if you do the maths, it shows what a varied but professional looking experience can be gained for only about $130,000 total if you find the right talent.  Still, if it's new Portmanteau horror you're really looking for, I'd follow Bloody Cuts instead.  Or maybe Damian McCarthy...



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